Finding Out I Have Cancer and Taking Chemo

I am in shock, hurt, mad and any other type of negative feeling you can think of.  I felt the only way to conquer this is to write about my journey. Maybe my journey can be an inspiration to others. So, for those family and friends who doesn't know that I am battling breast cancer, will NOW you know. WHY the HELL ME?!!!

 ***Disclosure- profanity included*** Having cancer has made me curse more than ever!

I just turned 49 years old 1 week prior to receiving my dx and was schedule to start my new job 2 weeks afterwards. Nice happy birthday gift to me, right? WRONG!!!! Here’s how it all played out.

Rewind to 3 weeks ago. While showering, I felt what seemed like a lump on my left breast. I was sure it was just a muscle strain but then I noticed a dent in my breast by the nipple. WTH???? Why is this on my left breast and not both. Umm…. Maybe it’s just a muscle strain from working out but my gut told me to contact my doctor.

 The next day, I called my doctor and told him what I felt and my concerns because cancer runs in my family. The next few weeks felt like I was in a category 4 hurricane being swept away. On June 26^th, 3 days after my birthday, I went for a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy because they didn’t like what they saw on the monitor. 

On July 3^rd, I received a call while leaving the movie theater with my son and nephew. The nurse told me the doctor wanted to speak to me. My heart felt like it dropped passed my underwear.  “Hello Tamara, I wanted to give you a call and not wait until after the holiday to give you the results of your biopsy.”  “The results came back and it shows that you have cancer in your left breast in the milk duct and in the lymph nodes.”  He scheduled an appointment for me to meet with the surgical oncologist to discuss treatment options. As he was talking, everything became muffled. I mean, doc you’re telling me that I have cancer while I’m driving. Well damn, good thing I didn’t have an accident. I mean really man?!

He went on to say that I will need to start treatment that would consist of chemotherapy, radiation and possible surgery.

The following week I met with the surgical oncologist and she examined me and told me that she wanted to refer me to a medical oncologist to get a second opinion about what options would be best for me. I’m sitting on the table looking all crazy, but I had my husband and sister by my side. They’re my closet physical support system.  The surgical oncologist proceeded to tell me that this will be a year process. I was just lost for words.

The following week, we went to see the medical oncologist. He reviewed my records and examined me. Since Dr. B knew my sister, it felt like I was given top notch treatment. As he was discussing my treatment options, he was looking at my sister for her agreement. My treatment consists of two sessions. The first session will be Dose Dense AC: Adriamycin & Cyclophosphamide-given every 2 weeks x 4 does + Neulasta (taking 2 Aleve starting morning after chemo x2 days as needed), then 3 weeks later: Paclitaxcl (Taxol)-IV every week x12 weeks: Taking steroid pill (dexumethasene) before 1^st week of chemo.  I was given a pamphlet on how to deal with chemo and what to expect as far as side effects.

Along with chemo, I’m taking the following no-filter supplements: Extra Nutrients (3-4 times daily), Meriva-500-SF(3 twice daily), Amino Complex,  and L-Glutamine Powder. I could go on about what these products does but do yourself a favor and check them out for yourself @ https://www.thorne.com/products. 
Let me tell you this, these products have been such a huge help to me. I haven’t been sick or anything. No side effects. It’s like, I don’t feel like I’m getting chemo but I do know I have this damn disease that have invaded my body and life. I faithfully take these products to help me with having a normal daily life.

Let the chemo begin!

Day One-Meet the “Red Devil”-August 2nd

I stayed online gathering as much information as possible about receiving Chemo. I perused almost every site and youtube channel that I can think of. Knowledge is power and plus I couldn’t sleep. Nerves was kicking in and I was peeing in what seems to be like every 30 minutes. Yes, it was my nerves, but I just couldn’t let that take over. I have a journey to beat Cancer’s azz and I need all the strength I can get to beat it.  I received information on how to prepare for first day of chemo.  I compiled a list of foods to help with the nausea that I was looking to encounter the next day:

• Saltine crackers
•  Grapes
•  Boiled egg
•  Bananas
•  Yogurt
•  Alkaline water (cancer can't survive in an alkaline environment)
•  Soursop tea (Graviola)- this has been known to cure cancer-YouTube-read the amazing reviews on Amazon
•  Essiac tea - the benefits include cancer treatment and prevention, HIV and AIDS treatment, immune system support and diabetes therapy-also read the amazing reviews on Amazon
•  Black Seed Oil (BSO) - known to cure EVERYTHING but death!

I didn’t bother to pack anything to keep me warm because I was going to a hospital, they have all the warm blankets and socks to provide you with and all that shit is included in your bill anyways, so take advantage of it and get all the good, good from the hospital. Speaking of bill, with both my husband and my insurance, our bill has been PAID IN FULL. 🙌

I received so many messages from family and friends encouraging me that WE got this, and WE can beat this. One of my bff, Sandy came up with a hashtag for me, #TeamTam. It’s so important to have a great support team/system or whatever you want to call it. It makes the journey better knowing there are people who care for you and are in your corner cheering you on.

My husband and I prayed before leaving the house. He’s my biggest supporter and I’m so grateful that God allowed him to be my husband because he honestly takes our vows seriously, “for sickness and in health.”  During our drive, we laughed and listened to music and talked about almost anything. He made sure that my mind was not focused on cancer or anything pertaining to it.

We pulled up to the Cancer Center and then it hit me that I have Cancer and I’m getting chemo to combat it, no dream. This is a reality. This was all like a dream that I was praying to wake up from. I registered and sat patiently to be called. The double doors open and in walked my oldest sister who had just gotten off from working a 12 hour shift.
Yes!!!!!! Family support. I started perking up a little bit because let’s be honest here, I didn’t want my husband to endure all my feelings on that day. My sister has been an RN for over 40+ years, so having her for both sisterly love and medical observance is a definite plus in my book.

I have a porta Cath, which made the treatment even better. The port goes into a vein in your chest and ends at your heart. This type of catheter is attached to a device called a port that is under your skin. The port and catheter are put in place in a minor outpt surgery.  Based on my research, google indicates that “a porta Cath is designed to facilitate access to the venous system. Chemotherapy patients may benefit from use of a porta Cath. A porta Cath allows for easier administration of medications to patients with cancer and other serious illnesses.”

Trust me, I had to do extensive research on this because I had no idea what a porta cath was or what it does. Even though I have my sister in my life, I wanted to research and learn about what’s happening to me for myself.

Listen folks, RESEARCH! RESEARCH! RESEARCH! The more you learn, the better the journey will be. Knowledge is power!

After administrating the IV and pumping in saline, steroids and meds for nausea, my nurse informs me they are mixing the chemo in the lab and will bring it over when it is ready and after they get my blood level reading. Volunteers came around with neat stuff in their carts to give to patients (all FREE stuff). There were snacks, drinks, chemo beanies and hats. It was so comforting to see this. 

About 30 min later my nurse came in with my chemo and her telling me that my blood level reading was great. The bag contains red chemo fighting agents Here's a better visual of it. 

When I saw it, I was like “damn, that deadly stuff is going in me?” I'm just toxic at this point moving forward. She began to suit up in her protective gear. The 2 syringes were huge and full of red liquid, medical term-Doxorubicin, a.k.a “The Red Devil.” As she began to administer it in me, I started calling it “The Blood of Jesus”. The nurse looked at me and said “amen” and that I have a positive attitude towards receiving chemo. I told her that it’s because of the God I serve who is a healer and that I’m already healed in his name.

As my husband was holding my hands, I began to think to myself that I need to stay positive and focused. I can beat Cancer because with God all things are possible. Yes, I have cried plenty of times throughout this journey and probably will continue to cry as I proceed. I have that right to have a Debbie downer moment. After crying, I wipe away my tears and continue to fight this battle because cancer is with me and the only way to beat it is with prayer and supplication. My strength and healing come from God. He created me and know all about me. He know more about me than I know about myself.

After 2 weeks of receiving chemo, I noticed my hair started falling out (major side effect). I took it upon myself to get it shaved completely bald. This was a choice that I was able to make with no regrets. I mean, I wear wigs anyway and just recently had a custom wig made just because…. So hey, if I am going to fight cancer, I’m doing it in style. 😊 The lady at the barbershop asked how much I want to cut off, I told her “all of it.” I don’t mind looking like a brown Sade, Sinead O’Connor or @TamarBraxton, @TamarBraxtonHer, of course those ladies’ necks are much longer and defined than mine, so I probably look like a bootleg version of them. 😊

My fingernails and palms of my hands has started turning dark, but hey, it could be worse. I have gained weight also. CAUTION: Steriods will have you eating like it's your last meal. Just eating everything that's not glued to a plate. 😊 

I completed my first session of AC on Sept 13^th. To God be the glory, I took this type of chemo with absolutely no sickness side effects and haven’t missed a day from work. Taxol starts Oct. 11^th. BRING IT!!!!!!!!

October is (BCAM) Breast Cancer Awareness Month. In observance of this month, I order this shirt to show how I am defeating cancer as a warrior.

YES, I WILL DEFEAT CANCER AND LOOKING FORWARD TO LIVING MY BEST LIFE EVER!!!!!!!
#TeamTam